How do I do IT?

I am a software engineer. To say precisely, I am an Analyst. What do I do? Do I analyse? mmm.. give me some time.. cause, I have to think about it for a while!

You know, I am in such a position/Job, where every one says.. comon Vijay, what are you worrying for? You must be the happiest person on planet Earth!! You have a nice job.. working for a great company and have a five figure salary..!! What do you need more?

Comon guys..!! Give me a break..!! Is that all one needs to have in one's life? Don't you want job satisfaction? Don't you wanna do and get paid for what you really wanted to do instead??..Huh..!!

Now, I know, what's your next question to me is..!! Didn't you say, you are an Analyst? Yes. I am. I am an analayst. I do analyse.. people. Not projects. Not new trends in Technology. Now your next question comes.. here it goes.. Why do you do that.. when you don't like it? Because, I do not have another option..!! I have to get things done by others.. does it sound familiar to you?? May be.. cause, it's the fundamental principle of management. What a manager does.

Then the question comes, are you crazy? When you are managing.. shouldn't you feel proud of that? You have people reporting to you.. You are assgining work and getting it done..!!

Yes. I am. I am getting work done. At the same time, I do not know, if the work done was the best work done. Means, was the work done using the fisrt solution or the best solution?

Ahh.. gone all those good days, when I was an Engineer ( Not an Analyst!!). I used to strive to give the best of me. Always used to think for the BEST possible way of solving a problem..!! Now what is happennig? Either I do not have time to really look into what my reportees have done.. or I must accept, at some times, I do not really understand what they have done..!! Because, I stopped re-serching and learning new things since I started managinf people. Isn't that sound like WHAT? I know, you want to ask me, who stopps you from learning? See.. I guessed it right..!! No body stops me..!! I my self..!! Do not even know what happens with my 8 hours of office life (Not to say, it was never 8 hrs, some times either 16hrs or some time may be 2 hrs..).

I am tied up with so many mails I have to go through from my Project counter part from overseas... Need to reply them.. Need to hone my skills in arguing with him about the present estimates we have delivered.. or some thing that was not caught at our end, was caught by our esteemed customer.. what not.. it's a different ball game every day..!! Half the day goes this way..!! The other half.. need to give the expalanation to my manger.. why things are wrong? (mm.. "Because they are things..!!" I always wanted to say this.. but never could..!!) Why the project is not running at CMMi Level 5 (I am not sure.. how many of you understand this.. But, Sorry.. please excuse me.. I would really not want to explaing that now..!! May that would need a separate BLOG for it self!!)?? And then.. the loop goes on and on and on..!!

In an organization which is small, where everyone knows the other ones.. it is easy to prove your self, to get you voice heard.. or to show you innovation..!! You have the control over the organisaton. But when an organisation becomes SYSTEM.. mmm.. now it's beyond your control..!! instead, it starts controlling the people..!! (Doesn't it sound like MATRIX..?? Hei Marphius.. come on.. find me man..!! I am NEO here.. waiting to be discovered by you..!!)

In a system, you can not do what you want to.. cause, the System does not allow you to do that..!! You can not learn what you want to learn.. cause, System says, use resources who already knew. But, do the resources knew the BEST? Really? or.. with out YOU knowing the BEST.. how do you certify that, the task was completed in THE BEST way by the resources from whom you are getting things done??

No answer. Because, you manage. You no more learn.

I do not want to manage. I want to learn. Implement. Innovate.

How? How do I do IT??