I B C D (India Born Confused Desi)!!

Mmm.. Was watching a movie yesterday.. ABCD was the name of the film. It is acronym for America Born Confused Desi. Desi is the desi term generally to refer to Indians in USA.

I was going through mixed feelings as I was watching the movie. So many thoughts.. so many questions.. some were answered for my self.. some were not.

I really did not understand why people want to change their selves over night once they land in USA. I have a friend who, always tries to behave as pure American..!! He does not want to be with his INDIN friends in any group gatherings, and only wnats to be alone(??). Though accidentally as well, by chance if you want to pat him on his shoulder or just hang on his shoulder.. he used to shout.. Heeeeii.. Comon man.. Don't behave like a GAY!!" For the first time I asked, What? Here in US if two guys are closer physically (Only in distance, no other thoughts please.. :-)!!), they are considered Gays.., He explained!! Oh my GOD..!! one cant even show his closeness with one's friend in this country.

The first thing people wanna go to in USA.. the night clubs and the strip clubs. My room mate was telling me.. One of his friends asked him if he had ever been to a strip club. This guys said, No. His friend astonishes and says, Oh man..!! Comon, how you gonna learn the American Culture!!?? His friend's expression was as if, this guy was roaming on the roads without putting his clothes on!! Is American culture only visible in strip clubs?? I was confused.

I did come across desi people who ovewhelmingly explained me about all the fun and things one can have and do at a strip club. Apparently, one of them happens to be a married guy and has his wife waiting for him back in INDIA (I could not dare asking him, if he can imagine his wife having and doing the same fun and things in India). I did come across people who never even thought of these things as they are so close to his own wife and children.

Then comes the friday night fever. The dance clubs are the hot spots for spending the weekend nights. They officially start at 10PM, get on to swing at around 1AM and closed by 4AM. Every day would be a special flavour of the music like Pop, Rock, Latin, Hip-Hop etc. played by the popular DJs in the town. Drinks flow like waves of an Ocean. Beer is almost replacement for water here. Smoking is just like breathing fresh air. For both boys and girls. As people start getting on to the dance floor it gets around 1AM everybody is high on drinks and Josh. I never understand the concept behing MTV Grind... thanks to these night clubls, I did undestand what was grind is all about.

Most of the Desis do try to get on the dance floor. Unlike in India, they do not dance with their fellow desi friends as some one would think that they might be gays. When they try to get close to the white girls, they look at desis as if we are aliens trying to grab them in our poisonous clutches. There are desis who could really dance and make the white girls go mad about them. there are every kind of people. The black people are the best dancers and the body builders as far as I could see (Size does matter!!). obviosly better the dance skils of one, better the chances of getting close to more girls. I am a bad dancer.

Then comes dating. I over heard one of the american girls asking my friend on phone, why you (Indians) people only date us for sex? Don't we have a heart? Does that not deserve love? When it comes to marriage, you would look for a girl who is a virgin & Indian and at the sime you do not your self a virgin. What the hell is this? mmm.. no comments.

From all this mayhem, what I undestood was, back in India, you are under the control of your paents. You are in a restricted society. You have people around you. Watching you. Observing you. in USA, you are a free bird. Answerable to only self (some times, this self thing stops questionaing..!!) You can apporach any one. Ask any thing that you would have never evn dared in INDIA. No sandals hitting your face. Dating is fun. Marriage is out of question.

Desis who are americanized, have no probs. They enjoy every bit of their life here. Desis who are pure Indians by virtue, they too enjoy life here. Its always the middle layer, neither could dare, nor could stop thinking about getting Americanized. Confused (!!??!!).

Where do I stand??